That's a secret i'll never tell

Url

2011-03-03T21:38:00.003+08:00

:P Hi i will be on tumblr! Anw, i wna change my blog url! :D *thinking of the new url now* k bye

move to http://thursdayfries.blogspot.com

tolerance

2011-03-02T21:40:00.002+08:00

Aro I had a bad day. Like suay only! But not going to let this spoil my mood! Let's focus on the cool and cute stuff! :P

I'm green

2011-03-01T04:01:00.005+08:00

Mmm mmm, i love soggy fries! The reason I'd crave for fastfood is the fries. I am 24/7 craving for soggy fries! Don't tempt me with fries~ Because I will not resist any temptation!

Well .............. I am having a hard time trying to decide on something. It's either me or humanity. Argh, this kind of "choose either" questions were a piece of cake but this time, it's not that case for me.

Me:

Though i have been living with what i am given, doesn't means that i am satisfied with it. However, I have nothing to complain. I am just wondering why: Is this fate or this is becoming common? I am so determine to keep a distance from "this kind" of people. Tsk, not that i mind about them being different, but why so many of them appearing in my life? They are really nice people and they treated me well. Unpleasantly, i have to keep this aside from whatever i am judging this time.

I know deep down in me can't and won't accept this. I am avoiding to make a choice now. Yes, i feel disgusted. Really. I don't want to get influence. Not even a part of me is willing to agree/accept/get influence. I am sure that i don't like it at all. I believe this is a kind of complication which will mess up my mind and get my mind all fuck up again. (Singlish) Me, beg you, kind of people, don't come near me, please.

Humanity:

As like i said, they are all nice people. Unfortunately or fortunately they play quite an important role in my life. Whether i judge their personality or their sexuality both together or separately it won't make a difference. I can't afford to lose any. I can't do this to anyone out there. I just can't do it. It's too inhuman. I can't, too hard to choose. And if i did, i will be guilty for life. Choosing to please myself will only proves that i am not good enough to be their good friend or probably deserve this much from them or better; that particular someone. I should give 100% understanding than saying this here, feeling lost and what not.

IT'S ME AGAINST MYSELF.

I loathe it and i won't put this to an end this way. I don't want to change anything or anyone, at the same time whatever my decision is, i want to follow my heart. I know the answer very well. M vs H, M wins. But i don't want to let go of this H.................. Either way i lose a part of me. It is just whether that i lose more of me or lesser of me.

I am tired, i like pong2 :) It is right to be away for awhile. I loath to decide.

I thought we'd be forever and always
You were serenity
You took away the bad days
Didn't always treat you right
But it was OK
I do somethin' stupid
And you still stay with me

5321

2011-02-27T23:02:00.004+08:00

Have been waking up early these days! I am lacking of sleep! D: I feel so restless now. I even fell asleep on the sofa while waiting for my phone to be charged. Hate this "sleep late - wake up later" thing :/ Guess i won't be able to make it for school if this goes on! I am really excited for April to come! :D Nope, i didn't forget about March! :D Hmmm, the excitement is still a secret! :D Well hope everything will be just fine :P

MYDAILYCONFESSION ->

2.) Fun day!

2011-02-27T02:22:00.009+08:00

Harol :P
"Work hard! Play harder!"

wowowowow :P i had so much fun two days ago! :) It was a happening night! :D Fun is the word to describe that night.

IT ALL STARTED FROM 12AM.

stupid pranks with the girls :P
surprises :P
birthday songs! :P
cycling :P
7-11 trip! :P
elaine falling down! :P
lepak at beach :P
fun at playground! :PPPPP ♥
LOST THE KEY :(
POCONG PRANK! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ :PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP
Bus to Pasir Ris interchange :P
CAB BACK TO YISHUN AT PEAK HOUR :PP
PLANNED FOR McDonald BREAKFAST! ♥♥♥♥♥♥ :PPPPPP
McValue BREAKFAST! ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ :PPPPPPPPPPP
HOMED ♥ :P

love it so much :PPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP I HAD FUNZ :D Except for the part that i've accidentally gotten two holes in my toe for kicking the pavement -.- thanks ar, stone. I wanted to kick the ball but I was too careless and started the kick too low...... kena the pavement and the ball fly ... the stone planted two holes into my fricking toe :(

and that i spent 35 that day! *Heart broken*

:D that's all bye! :P

1.) Birthdays

2011-02-25T16:00:00.030+08:00

I promised to update about this, before i went to bed 7hours ago. Seriously, i don't know what was i thinking just now, i guess i just can't keep this to myself.

I didn't enjoy my birthday celebration at all. I know they did put in effort celebrating my birthday for me. But when i think again, i wonder if they really put in tad bit of effort to make me happy or the celebration is just an excuse for us to gather? Cause it seems like any other day to me.

Prezzies are all exception. I really don't mind not having it, but the cake? When i see K's friend taking out the pandan cake for him to cut yesterday, i got a little bit shock? I thought it was a prank. And yes laaa, it was.

Now flash back. You compare 1st of Jan and 15th of Jan. I vote 1st Jan is better. Cake and games? I totally cannot understand what have i done to not deserve a better cake for my birthday? I didn't make plans so that they could do something for me that day. It turn out fuck. I swear. Some working, yea never mind, it's ok. The rest are getting gifts or i can say gift for me... ok excused. SO WHO THE FUCK IS ACCOMPANYING ME ON MY FUCKING BIRTHDAY? (sorry too exaggerating) What i received on my 17th birthday were sorries. Even more than the wishes I got this year. I was merely feeling okay. Probably they feel the same, that's why they were apologising. I regret saying i was ok with it -.- but i will regret more if i say it out in front of them. Like inhumane .....

I have been putting much effort to hold a perfect celebration for every one of my friends and i can never get the same thing in return. I always have to take initiative. For god sake, i am tired of taking initiative. It's not that I don't appreciate the effort you people put in, i am just unable to feel good about things that were planned that day. (wai i complain so much -.-)

Walao why so many people so gei gao one. CB la sia, giving present is a way to show your sincerity right! The present don't have to be ex uh, don't have to be useful too! JUST BUY LAAAAA. Cheeeee-byeeee. Learn to be generous la deh (-.-) This is the problem, you guys are not generous at heart. Will you get hurt by showing sincerity?! I tell you a birthday card will be 1000 times better than birthday messages.

I am having a bad day btw. Birthday means a lot to me, so i will not hand my birthday celebration to anyone next year. -.- OMG I SHOULD PRIVATE THIS ENTRY LOR. Ok la show you guys my ugly side la .......

The worse was when my dad said that it was supposedly to be a mini birthday celebration for me on the following Saturday after my birthday, i had class outing. They just didn't postpone or even care to make it up for me.

Is it me;beginning to be greedy or learnt to put these feelings in words?

Probably i was just wrong about all these. #justsayin #donttakeittoheartnot #uglythoughts

lacking

2011-02-24T03:53:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the lack of proper updates! :D Well I have the feeling to write a super ultra long post! I got inspired by the things that happened today! :p I shall begin!

I thought that i am rather ignorant about Singapore's social affairs, so i guess i should start by yahoo-ing! Anddd i got this weird news report..

Primary 6 student tries to jump off school building!

Can ‘No Pants Day’ take off in Singapore?

lol these are the two that i find it "OM-FAG?" Don't you think not wearing pants is a bit ...... too much? I WILL DEFINITELY NOT PARTICIPATE IN THE EVENT IF IT HIT SG. -.- EXPOSING YOURSELF MAKES YOU FEEL COMFORTABLE MEH? Then got tikos staring at your butt wherever you go! Who created this event?! -.- Nonsensical sia! Who would want to take off their pants and walk around for a day?! -.- We still have children in singapore! Please don't pollute their eyes and minds with this kind of thing.

I am rather confident that this event won't be a hit in Sg. I seriously believe Singaporeans are very traditional. They cannot accept this kind of concept and everything! Tsk tsk, if you guys wna see the full report go to yahoo.sg! :D It is all written their! AND THEY PROVIDE PICTURES!

ok la i feel damn tired now. I feel like lo soh-ing also cannot! CIAO BYE NIGHTS

bang!

2011-02-23T02:12:00.004+08:00

others can't love you when you don't love yourself. guess there's something i got to face it and love it because i can't change it. i feel unlucky and helpless at times but what can i do? i got so bothered by this over and over again. i know people out there would judge me. fuck it. sad to say we're all very shallow. never mind.

bye.

friday night

2011-02-22T01:37:00.005+08:00

hello! I know it's not friday night! But the point of naming the title as friday night is cause! I AM HAVING FEVER. LMAO , friday night fever? >.> Lameeee.

I am having insomnia and it can't be cured! Tsk walao.......... and hor i am letting my blog die....... the views dropped by 4times! HAHAHAH! Yay, who cares! -.- yala i am going to entertain myself with variety shows now, cause i've watched two movies on channel five and lots of documentary just now! Time to laugh my lungs out! At the mean time, i am waiting for my brother to come home!

n.nV peace!

Perspective and Nightmares

2011-02-20T00:47:00.024+08:00

My.. I had a bad day yesterday.....

I am some-what having a conflict with myself. I am contradicting over my family matters. *Inhales* It has been rough for me. Perhaps my parents as well.

- interrupts -

Did i ever told you about my dream? When i was a toddler, I dreamt that my mom and my dad divorced *touch wood* and the four of us (my elder brother, me, younger sister and younger brother) had to split up due to some agreement written in their separation lawyer letter. Me and one of my brother (i forgot which) were made to stay with my dad.

- Back to reality -

Hmm, when i was young my dad couldn't be bothered about our family, he was way to busy to care for us -.- . He was the sole breadwinner of my family and that's the only thing i knew about him, at that time la, i mean in the past la *trying to type like typical singaporean* I didn't even dare to speak to him!

-end of reality, back to my dream-

It was terrible for me to find out that my mom chose to let me and my the other brother to stay with my dad. I was disowned by her, *in my dreams of course*. I begged her not to give me away, i cried and cried. I even kneel down in front of the public, clinging on to one of her legs and I cried out :"Mom! Please! Take me with you! *sobs*". I can remember the scenes vividly, until now. Luckily it didn't came true.

- end of interruption -

Yeah, so I was really afraid to lose my mom, at that point of time. We got real close, but now.. we aren't that close anymore. Because i craved for freedom and got very rebellious. And yea there goes our r/s.

Also, I doubt my relationships with my siblings. It's always on/off. They seem to hate me. It is sad for me to feel this way. I don't know is it true or what, i am still hurt by what they said to me the day before. I know, and my mom told me that it was a joke. Ugh, seriously, it was a very bad timing. The fact that my mom doesn't want to live with us or me is bad enough and yet they rubbed it in, laughed it off like it wouldn't affect me.

I really should thank Kamal for talking to me just now, in that Indian restaurant. He taught me how to look at things differently. He told me how important a family is and what should be taken lightly and what should not. Lesson learnt : never give up on family. Though, i truly agree on what he said to me, i am still having difficulty to convince myself that i can prioritize my family. I can't even comfortably say that my family will be there for me when i need them. They... are so distant....... Like ....... not the ones i know anymore. I feel odd living in this family. The thought of leaving this house is so overwhelming that i almost left home and decided that i should not come back.

Probably it is a process of growing up. I think i need to do something about my life. Make a change. Now! On the other hand, I should also try to mend things that my friend had broken up. I know it is kind of impossible to make it happen but i'll give it my best shot.

K, buhbye.

Class outing

2011-02-20T00:43:00.000+08:00

Had so much fun with 4E1 today :) Hope we can have another outing! Yeahhhh \m/

true

2011-02-17T01:17:00.005+08:00

it takes a lot of time for us to discover and see who are the ones we can keep and who are the ones we should let go. It is never easy for us to let people in, and it is even harder to let them go. The hardest part of this cycle is to admit that meeting this particular someone or becoming close with them is a mistake.

In my life, i have other options rather than just "come" and "go". I will always like to stay with people i met in my life. However, I walk away from those who i don't think they fit to be in my life or i should say a part of me. I always doubted myself for walking away from these people... I was afraid to make the wrong decision, i don't ever want to regret. And often, they turn out to be the people who gave me more to remember than i should forget.

Those who are charismatic and interesting will always draw my attention. The more they can feed me with information/fun, the more i want to get close. Hmm, information is not about other people's secrets, definitely not about gossiping. It is about knowledge and social tactics! :D i like talented people and of course smart people! They always can tell me about new things that are happening! :D I don't mind knowing more about fashion and politics :p

eh ....... i suddenly forget what i wanted to say........ walao :( I wanted to complete this entry badly! But i can't! Ugh, forget it. :/ K, bye. Going to neglect this blog for a few days! :D Will come by if possible! kthxbai. If i remember anything i will come back and edit this post! Ciao!

Dyed

2011-02-15T23:56:00.001+08:00

I don't know, just shut up.

random

2011-02-14T03:53:00.001+08:00

:( k, i know i am a boring person. bye

I was wrong.

2011-02-14T02:44:00.028+08:00

Mad. Ugh, i am piss. Ok, i don't really know how to begin my story but argh i should start by changing the background, so that you guys read this post clearly.

I am very serious here and kinda mad at the same time. I am not trying to blame anyone, just telling you guys how i am feeling now, yes at this instant. Ok, wait! I should change this background first.

Done. Fug? Did it happen to you? I feel like a fool now. I AM FOOLED OK. I am exaggerating about the whole thing but imagine if you did the same thing as me? YOU WOULD BE TYPING IN CAPS NOW AND RETWEETING EVERYTHING CHLOE TWEETED YESTERDAY. JUST LIKE ME, JUST LIKE WHAT I AM DOING NOW!

RT @chloechong Faking your birthday leading to people wishing you "Happy birthday" and that joke's on those who made the wish? Get a life

RT @chloechong Yes I can admit, some birthdays I don't remember. Some of the people I don't even know of are in my facebook list, however..

RT @chloechong with that reminder, even as a stranger, i'm making the effort to let you know that someone cares that is your birthday. Not some joke.

RT @chloechong Because of nincompoops as such, I don't even wish anyone on facebook anymore, where's the originality of one's birthday?

RT @chloechong Getting those wishes on a day that doesn't belong to you? You should go suck on your dad's balls. #justsaying
-LMrRoodolf

I wished someone when it is not even their birthday! OH MY FUCK? OK, IT IS EMBARRASSING. But why the hell should i remember your birthday? I wished that few "somebody" because i don't get that much wishes alright! HAPPY?

I thought i was being kind, oh dear i know you must have thought that you don't need my kindness right? OH GOD GRACIOUS, I ACTUALLY THOUGHT ABOUT WISHING YOU. /BANG WALL. OH I MADE A MISTAKE, I WISHED YOU. *shakes head* BECAUSE I THOUGHT SOME PEOPLE, LIKE ME, NEED SOME WISHES. Ughhhhhhhhhh AND YOU ABUSED MY SINCERITY. SAD MUCH AND KINDA OFFENDED. ESPECIALLY THIS INVOLVES SOMEBODY I DISLIKE, GIRL. TSK SCAM LA YOU.

NOW I DONT EVEN FEELING LIKE WISHING ANYONE ANYMORE. BEEEEECAUSE MY FEELINGS GOT CHEATED BY YAW. BOOOOOOM GONE. MY TRUST FOR STRANGERS ARE GONE FOR GOOD.

THE WORSE PART IS THAT I DIDN'T REALIZE TILL I'VE GONE ONLINE JUST NOW AND READ IT THREE TIMES. I KNOW I AM SLOW ENOUGH TO SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING, IT HAPPENED YESTERDAY. AND THANKS. UGH. IT HAPPENED WAY TO MANY TIMES TO ME!

Imagine, you were the one wishing someone on the social web, with sincerity. THEN BOOMZ, you found out that you've been fooled. It wasn't their birthday, and they kinda rub it in by replying sarcastically. OMG. I feel like banging the wall, thank you.

Then now imagine! You are the one who didn't faked the birth date, and people like us got so afraid to make that mistake again didn't wish anyone anymore. HOW WOULD YOU FEEL? DISAPPOINTED MUCH? Thanks.

Please, no kidding, don't do that next time. I mean about the fake birth dates. I thought the social site was different from the other weird web. It was suppose to be a real social network for us to know people who we wanted to know or get close with people we just met or to keep that connection between two people. No faking names, no fake family members, no fake phone numbers? Email? Picture? AND EVERYTHING ELSE. Everything was suppose to be real? And nah. It only remained that way for weeks, now; it is fake. I am going to quit it soon. Ugh, it's giving me headache.

Thanks bloggie for letting me whine. Woah, you're still the best, no doubt! :) I was just complaining and exaggerating. I feel much better now. Please, fuck off girls. Uh, i mean gay girls. I hate them. Shall dedicate a post to gay girls next time :b

K, thanks, bye.

offensive, mixed feelings.

2011-02-13T23:46:00.019+08:00

Hello. I got complaint by a reader that my posts have been boring. Yes, i know it is boring. Seriously.. I've nothing to update. I'm just forcing myself to write something. Squeezing something out of my pea brain. Tsk, hmm even if i had something to write, I'll somehow get distracted and forgot what i wanted to update. Ah, so i guess it isn't the right period for me to write down what's going on.

And i know it's kinda difficult to read on this background. The word "You are the only exception" is blocking some of the sentences. I know about this, i am just lazy to change the background or make any adjustment. I love this background a lot. And the title's font. Heee :D Maybe you want to scroll down a little? It helps. Heee.

Well, things aren't going well for me. Like, i quarreled with my mom and practically everyone else too, today, again. I really hate to feel odd living among my family. My younger brother talks to me like we're not even close. Ok, we are not close at all. He even said "who are you?" to me. *roll my eyes* Then my sister don't even care that i am around. PMS? Or i am the one? We don't talk at all, though we are both sharing the same room. I didn't get to see my elder brother around.. My dad. I don't know. My mom, ugh kinda unable to communicate? I feel like "ESC" from home. There's no one i can rely on at home and outside.

I feel odd, insecure and out of place. It is like, i never belong to anywhere.

By the way, there's an irony i want to share : I hated this guy named "James" in twilight. Luckily he died in the movie! Yay no more irritating vampire. Lol haha, i swear he was irritating in "Twilight".

hell, this is James.

I hated James. Ew, damn turn off right? Long hair? And so pale? Not cute at all. Yuckies. THEN I SAW THIS HOT/CUTE guy in the movie Burlesque, he's a bartender with eyeliner! I swear that he is as sexy as Johnny Depp with eyeliner. Hahaha!

This is Jack :b OMG CUTE.

The irony is : James = Jack. WTF? I hate James! I think Jack is cute! BUD they are the same person. Oh my fag? Are you serious? I can't believe that they're the same person. I googled Jack and i saw "Twilight" in his biography! Then, I got this very bad feeling, because i really don't remember anyone that cute in "Twilight". Holy shit, they ended up being the same person. How can that be?!

He is very cute. Uh but i think he is a little skinny know? :/ K, bai.

love

2011-02-13T03:30:00.001+08:00

Do you really understand that? "Uh uh, you don't."

i will update more next time, tsk when i've more to say. And i love my new blogskin. *smile! Peace.

Not afraid

2011-02-12T17:29:00.006+08:00

Hey guys it's been so long since i update something proper here. Damn, can you believe that i am actually staying at home more than ever before? Four days have passed. Oh my god. This is definitely a bad sign.

Well, i felt better after confronting something i am unhappy about to my friends. At least I let them know how i feel. Life at home isn't all comfy and peaceful. Hate to face my sister everyday. She has been busy with her homework. I got fed up having to look at her sulking face. She is giving me short temper. She prioritize national exams on top of everything else, and showing attitude us for some idk fuck reason? She should just die. Cause she didn't realize what she have caused. Whenever i wna ask her something, she would just pretend that she didn't hear me or she's just too engrossed in her work that she couldn't hear me, i don't know, either way she is pissing me off. Fug it. If she didn't score a 7 or 9 for R5, i will kill her.

Anyway, I would like to live in cities than country side. Crowds, food, money, laughter, beggars, skyscraper, pigeons and cars! Haha it makes me feel so alive! Like i'm living in the center of a very very very big land! And most importantly it is where people come together and have fun. :D
Tokyo and New york is where i wanted to go the most :D I wonder will that ever come true. Okie. that's all bye.

Idolized

2011-02-10T16:05:00.001+08:00

heeeheee i am hungry but i have nothing to eat at home zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

S WHORE

2011-02-10T00:01:00.001+08:00

LOL NO GOOD. TSKTSK, FF PLS.

In the way

2011-02-09T12:32:00.003+08:00

I had a dream........ Nat called me and I woke up. Sigh, i shall just keep this dream to myself.

I think i miss this friend too much.

Insecure.

2011-02-08T01:51:00.010+08:00

Step one you say we need to talk, he walks. You say sit down it's just a talk. He smiles politely back at you, you stare politely right on through.

Some sort of window to your right as he goes left and you stay right. Between the lines of fear and blame, you begin to wonder why you came.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend, somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night, had I known how to save a life?

Let him know that you know best. Cause after all you do know best. Try to slip past his defense without granting innocence. Lay down a list of what is wrong, the things you've told him all along and pray to God he hears you! And pray to God he hears you!

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life?

As he begins to raise his voice, you lower yours and grant him one last choice: Drive until you lose the road or break with the ones you've followed. He will do one of two things, he will admit to everything or he'll say he's just not the same and you'll begin to wonder why you came.

Where did I go wrong, I lost a friend. Somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night had I known how to save a life?

Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness. And I would have stayed up with you all night. Had I known how to save a life? How to save a life. How to save a life.

it is terrible to have difficulty falling asleep, especially when you know that you're tired. What got me stayed up all night was.. guilt. I felt so guilty for sleeping. I thought about my day. I thought about words i've said. I thought about my future. I feel so stress and depressed. There isn't a moment i can let all these woes go. It came to my mind whenever i try to have some peace.

Well, I figured it out that i should write it down, because it works whenever i blogged about it! Ok, so as usual i open up 3 tabs - blogspot.com , youtube.com and tumblr.com. As i was writing i thought i should listen to "how to save a life". It never fails to let me feel a little more secure than i was. I intended to search for the lyrics on google, but google suggested "how to save a life lyrics meaning" and then i clicked on that. It was indeed very inspiring!

The title track, "how to save a life," was inspired by slade's experience as a mentor to a crack addicted teen. "I was a sheltered suburban kid when I met this guy. He was a recovering addict, coming out of a really tough teenage life. Thankfully, he was on his way out of that life, so he was able to really look back with some objectivity. The song is more of a memoir about his slow motion descent and all the relationships he lost along the way." destined to be one of the band's greatest hits, slade isn't worried about getting tired of performing the song: "it is the easiest one for me to sing every night. I constantly get emails from people who relate to it."

this is from their official website... -credit

The lyrics of a song only remind us of what we wanted to remind ourselves. However, the meaning of the lyrics tells you how this song came about, the origin of it. And maybe this way we will appreciate the song better.

Damn it, i am really stressed up with my life. I always fill my future with my imagination. I am afraid to be there, to be attending my future. Can i absent myself from all the misery? Though school hasn't started for me, it has been giving me pressure. I am worried about it.

Even lunar new year beliefs got me judging my future before it happens. Please tell me what to do? :( Does anyone ever understand the pressure i am going through? It's giving me insomnia. It is haunting me, even in my sleep. Hope my life has a "alt +F4" or even "Esc" button, i can't take this any more! Help!

-
I can understand, very well that how a cigarette can harm my body and the fact that it can't solve any of my problems literally. However, every puff i inhale makes me feel a little lighter as the burden in me turns into smoke and come out from my lungs, through my nostrils and eventually out of me. Most importantly, i can see it coming out from me.

shut up and let me go you monster!

social network

2011-02-06T02:05:00.002+08:00

bye bye people. I dont like you at all. I am trying my best to please you time and time again, none of you appreciates. bye

3.12AM

if you know how much damage you have done to me, you wouldn't hurt me. But if you didn't, i wouldn't know that i actually cared that much.

KILLED ME ONCE. KILL ME TWICE, I WILL STILL BE ALIVE.

KIDO

2011-02-06T00:16:00.003+08:00

12.16AM

Hi :D I finish Nikita till the latest episode already and hah I am very tired. But i want to watch another movie online now! Ok bye

Nikita 2

2011-02-05T22:50:00.008+08:00

10.50

): Thom is dead .

10.51PM

): sad still.

11.14PM

*ps : Guys stop falling in love in facebook. I am serious. It is not practical.*

11.15PM

I am distracted from my show :/

11.37PM

take care bro :) ok back to my show :b

11.59PM

omg alex is going to die. fag.

Nikita

2011-02-05T01:29:00.008+08:00

Damn nice, and i am damn sad about one of the cases that niki handled six years ago! Ah damn it.

1.36 am

LOL it was a scam! Victor is still alive!

5.00AM

I am addicted to Nikita! I can't stop watching!

5.23AM

D: i am really tired but i can't stop watching Nikita. I am officially awake for 20 hours . I am drained. I am not stopping myself from watching the next episode. Bye, my show is starting

5.36AM

i cannot make it i need to sleep now! Oh wait! CLIMAX! Ok back to my show :(

5.39AM

alright gna off my comp now. bye

5.44AM

you know what? i feel nauseas for not getting enough sleep. bye

4.48PM

hi i am back for more action! n.n

11

2011-02-04T01:22:00.029+08:00

this entry is LONG-WINDED AND UNNECESSARY

Hi :D Umm yea i thought to myself, explaining that why must i have 1 public blog, 3 test blogs, and 7private blogs. Hahaha then i decided that i should write it down here! In case i have forgotten why and start questioning myself again :S

Anyway, hmm i have got 11 blogs in total. The one you reading now is the only non-private blog. It has minimal privacy and this is the space for me to somehow indirectly pass hidden messages to people around me. However, the other 10 blogs are created for some special reasons!

ok..

1.)Randomness-workbook = public.

I've got another 3 tests blogs. Hmm, test blogs? Test blogs are for me to try out the new blogskin i wanted to use for my public blog. Perhaps that is also a space for me to create my personal blogskins or edit blogskins that i wanted to use for my public blog! It is also used to save html codes which i might need it in the future. And i often use these test blogs to test fonts that i would like to use for the next blogskins/layout. That's why i call it a test blog.

Ok then.. about private blogs...

Usually, i won't private my private-blogs and each blog that i created it is for a particular someone. Hmmm, like example if i feel something for this person, i will create a blog to write stuff about him. Just for that particular person :S I also write blogs about my family and friends, hence 7private blogs. Sometimes i would post about 2-3 person in a blog.

I wrote sensitive stuff in my blogs, however i will not purposely hide my blogs away from others. One way or another, people around me are able to find their way into my private space. So I stopped blogging there and move to another blog. I know i won't be able to blog like the past after i know that they found my private-blog, so in order to be true to myself I created another space to write down my feelings and thoughts again. Every time i shifted my blog the level of privacy also increases. I am really uncomfortable with people reading my feelings/thoughts so freely, i feel so naked without being able to disguise myself.

sometimes i find that it's ok for people to read about those sensitive chunk of words i posted. maybe i need them to make a change about the uncomfortable situation they had created for me.

Yea talking about followers, Twitter and tumblr. I keep getting followers, the more i get the more i am unable to tweet/write stuff i feel like writing. I feel that they followed me because they have found meaningful sentences on my profile/space or they found themselves similar to me or as simple as they know me and they just want to keep in touch through social webs, but dang!

I can't come out with these inspiration sentences or whatever-u-call-that-similar-situation-thingy-feeling-in-words all the time! I only write them when i feel damn argh! You get it? -.- those followed me for inspiration sake will unfollow me naturally. Thanks, that's very "supportive" of you.

I know i had bothered many people who followed me on twitter. I am being damn emotional, because I AM REALLY HAVING NEGATIVE THOUGHTS?! What do you want me to do? It was meant to be there for me to spout whatever shit i want to say.

Also, weird. I don't know why i feel disappointed when my followers dropped from 114 to 108 :/ LOL it was a huge difference! Sometimes i really wanted to questiong those followers :"why the hell you followed and unfollow me? Please explain? z."

I stop spamming my twitter with negativity already alright! UGH. How could i not want more followers? It's so competitive on twitter, everyone is like comparing the number of followers. DAMN STRESS KNOW. (i know every one is comparing secretly, don't have to lie. Even to yourself while reading this! It's ok, i totally understand how you feel *nod nod*)

Though i would still like to whine on my twitter :( i control myself not to, just because people who followed me, especially my friends, don't like to see emo shiats on their updates >.> OK LOR. So i stop flooding them with all the typo errors and emotional stuff.

HENCE LED TO PRIVATE BLOG AGAIN AND PRIVATE TWITTER AND PRIVATE TUMBLR. Zag............................

Something that was meant to private became known, causing me to create another private space to keep my privacy :/

I swear if people don't judge, if they don't gossip, don't feel a thing about what i post i will not private them. LOL, impossible.

ok kthxbye.

Boo

2011-02-04T01:11:00.001+08:00

(Y)

The Fray - How To Save A Life

2011-02-03T02:46:00.001+08:00

08. Hold still
15. Let it go
36. Don't be scared of death
18. Talk to someone
45. Touch
23. Accept
22. Cry
07. Forgive
01. Love
86. Open up
11. Remember
99. say goodbye

One. Listen. Dad. Mom. Laugh. BREATHE. I'm not good enough. Fear. Release. Have faith. SURRENDER. release the fear. Secure.

Rocher

2011-02-03T01:11:00.005+08:00

Aro! :D This is Rocher!
Poor Rocher is my cousin's dog :) She is quite popular at my grandma's house! Awwww, she is very very poor thing! ): Got abandoned in a haunted house by a family with 2 other dogs! :( No one is there to feed them! They survive solely on the food that passer-by give! :( Then Rocher is very sensitive to floating objects! like hanging clothes or curtains that blown by wind! D: Very sad right! Cause she lived in the haunted house for four months! She must have seen too much horrifying stuff :( Must dote on Rocher more than Meow meow now! :D I wna play frisbee with Rocher one day! :D

I LIKE PETS A LOT! I LOVE ANIMALS :b OMG I LOVE THE CONCERT ON CHANNEL 825/826(Starthub) DAMN NICE LEH!

Ok bye :D HAPPY NEW YEAR :D

Syndicate

2011-02-02T00:52:00.002+08:00

Youtube #nowplaying

Aro. Ah damn i fell sick before chinese new year :( i hate this whole flu thing! Argh, it's definitely pissing me off! Sick means no good food for new year! D: Can't eat all the heaty stuff! Damn it. How unlucky! My sister is really hard working for olevels! She is studying now know! Look at the fricking time! I was slacking away at this period last year, when i had my O levels.

Ah......... ok just got to say i've been thinking a lot, a lot , a lot. I'm not sharing it here cause i still have not figured the big picture of my thoughts yet. So yea see you around, bye. xoxo :(

goodevening

2011-01-31T23:54:00.003+08:00

just got to say something before i get really really tired. i've been thinking a lot just now. when i am lying on my bed. i can't sleep. i was awaken by a phone call from my friend and seriously i can't sleep after that.

i dont think i am feelin alright now. just a little emotional. i dont know whether to give you my support or just stop all communications with you? cause i really really want to talk to you badly. talking to you make me feel alive!

i want to know what everyone feels about me. truthfully. cause i dont know what are they up to when they ask me things, tell me things or when i do something will that affect them. ah i dont know. i care too much.

damn. thinking about random stuff again. i wonder why those who came to me when i needed someone the most are those who i didn't expect anything from? ugh drop this topic.

i hope my brain can stop thinking nonsensical stuff for just a moment. It's getting worse, i miss you alright? :) Stay happy! I hate to see you like that :) xoxo.

and hellyeah you're my everything :)

S-H

2011-01-31T00:30:00.001+08:00

My daily confession . tumblr . com

Mono-mono

2011-01-31T00:23:00.004+08:00

hi. can you imagine i use monotone to write this post? the robotic kind of tone, like how the robots speak in those sci-fi (science- fiction) movies . like no other expression. ha -ha. yes. just like that. bye.

I'm tryna be lame! Cause my font looks so robotic, like dead! Emotionless. Heee okbye.

Sup

2011-01-30T23:09:00.003+08:00

oh - oh - oh - oh - oh - oh! What did you have to go away from home? Me love!

:D Hi i am feeling all hyped up now! Hahaha, i don't know why too! :D Heeee I think my twitter has been rather emotional~ Actually i am not :D I am just trying to blend in with the others! :D Don't spoil their mood ma :b

I realized i used a lot of "like" and "just" recently! :O This is bad yo... And oh! :D I think Angelina Jolie is sexy ~ :D I like her a lot! She'z my idolzxzx :) Ok enough of dUhh spEllinqq thiinqq l0lx! It is very irritating! I will only do that when i am sarcastic! :D Pure sarcasm! I don't type like that! :D

I am always missing 2E3 and the guy/person i always thought of is NAREIN ): I love him and miss him! He is my first blackie brother :D And he make me love indians! :D Indians are so passionate! I loike :p

Wow wow wow, ok chillya! :) NOTHING CAN BRING YOU DOWN! Argh :b BYE i am done :D

Grenade

2011-01-30T03:18:00.002+08:00

Hey

Hmmm i just watched Black Swan i swear it freak me out! And i promise to tutor my cousin at 10 tomorrow..... I AM GNA BE SO LATE D: But i've a lot to write now how!? I suppose to sleep by 2 AM. Alright hell, like i ever cared about the time i sleep.

D: The black swan is damn scary cause it's about the female lead of Swan lake having sort of mental illness! Which i think i might have! ZOMFG. i am very scared :( aiya don't care..... byebye lar i've nothing to update. UGH ...

Bruno Mars always remind me of R. Cause of their hairstyle i guess :S

"Today, I get to share with you the visual companion piece to my new single, 'Grenade.' The song is about loving someone so deeply, and the pain of knowing that the person you love does not feel the same. The actions in this video serve as a metaphor, and should not be taken literally. I am aware of the power of visual media, and I encourage everyone who watches this video to understand that it is an artistic interpretation of the song, and not something to imitate." -- Bruno Mars

cute

2011-01-29T04:30:00.001+08:00

boooo!

2011-01-29T03:32:00.000+08:00

a pocket of hole

2011-01-28T02:38:00.000+08:00

i came online to blog... but hah it seems like i have nothing to say :/ &hell Mr dH sure knows how to make me go gaga! Damn bye.

Pardon

2011-01-27T02:11:00.010+08:00

Hi blog, i think the reason why i turn to you instead of tumblr it's because you can do me a favour by passing a message to everyone out there.

Hmmm :( I am not contended with my life. You see.. I didn't complete the previous post cause i don't feel like completing it. It's like admitting something that never came across your mind. I never thought things would turn out this way for me. Yes, this is fragile. I know we are all very sensitive, one way or another we made it through the years by giving in or avoiding sensitive topics. But see, that's why we're having troubles now. Unpleasant with each other, we don't trust each other. I don't know. Even i don't have faith in us anymore. How could it be?

SIGH SIGH SIGH. We compared the past and present to keep track what we've lost or gain or what we managed to maintain. Again and again we feel hurt because of we've lost someone. The pain don't go away by gaining another it is because we are all irreplaceable, so as our feelings. Bits and pieces counts. It's like a scratch on a mirror will one day tear the mirror into pieces.

I am feeling emotional now, damn it.

Perspective.

2011-01-26T23:00:00.002+08:00

It's gna be a wordy post. There's like 3 major problems i am having now. I have a changed my perspective of some things after 2010 ended. The truth is, I don't care about these anymore. I'm immune to all the quarrellings and arguments, i guess. I kinda change how i feel about things and how i see them. The three things that i've changed my perspective are

family
friends
myself

1 - Yes! Well, those who know me for many years might feel that my family was rather nice and sort of perfect. I thought so too, but now.. i doubt so. Let me start with my dad. My elder brother used to have problems with my dad. Hmm i use the word "used to" because right after i had a cold world with my dad, my brother seems to be compromising more to him and to make this family more peaceful (sort of). Ok the major problem about my dad is that he is very traditional and very protective of his children. I AM DYING UNDER HIS PROTECTION. _l_ HE DONT FUCKING ALLOW ME TO GO OVERSEAS EVEN WITH MY AUNT. FML. Seriously. Then my mom, i don't know why she expect us to do house chores for her. Like command us everytime we reach home. Like she even cares about us, she only cares about her chores lor. WTF. Thanks. Hell, what generation is this? Why can't boys do chores as well? UGH.

2.) FRIENDS. Yes, thank you. I am too vexed to even talk about it here. Friends....

slightest mistake

2011-01-26T00:01:00.001+08:00

can't stop thinking bout it.

Cz

2011-01-25T05:12:00.000+08:00

foufhififa -.- fofufaifinfa! fuifiao.

dang.

2011-01-25T04:35:00.002+08:00

A rush coming through you when you saw him ............ then stops. and left high up and dry.

soul searching

2011-01-25T03:22:00.004+08:00

i don't know why.. i feel so broken now....

do you feel me? You little dickhead.

soul searching

2011-01-25T03:22:00.001+08:00

i don't know why.. i feel so broken now....

Honeybees

2011-01-24T04:21:00.009+08:00

Hi honey good morning, yea it's already a routine for me to sleep at this hour. As much as i am uninspired, i am always on the net looking things to make me feel a whole again. And yes, i almost watched all the 4/5 and above rated movies. Damn, i am running out of ideas what to watch and what i have missed out. Today i watched Sex and the city. Surprisingly it wasn't about sex and the city. It's about romance. Oh man, I am jealous of the friendship that they are having in the movie. It's like they will never leave each other, they will always be there for one another when something happen. You know what? It will never happen to me. This kind of perfect friendship doesn't exist in my world. Glad to at least have friends around, but till the "perfect" extend -Nah, perfect doesn't happen to me.

I can tell you, if i cared about 100things in the whole wide world, only 5 out of the 100 i am in total control of it. 10 out of the remaining 95, i have a say in it. The rest - i have no control nor i have a say. Sigh ..........

I was wondering why i've stopped blogging recently? I used to blog daily, now? Every 3days? Probably beause life has been boring~ you know like B.O.R.I.N.G. You have no comments about your life. Worse, you don't even know whether you're feeling anything about your life.

Speak about feelings, i can't fucking forgive my dad. He wanted to keep me in this fucking small country till i am fucking 21. Thanks dad for all the restrictions. Don't you think you're being over protective? If i were to continue arguing with you that day, i know you'll give me a tight slap. FUCK YOU. I don't care if you gave me a tight slap or not, I am unable to forgive you for being over protective. I don't even feel like talking to you anymore. Every word you said turn me off. FUCKYOU. Stay away from me. I hate you. I know it's a bit too strong to say this, but hey just look at what have you done to my life and me. Thanks for breaking 2 promises at one go. I thought you would at least know what to do to make me happy, but fuck - no.

I don't want to talk about my dad anymore. He doesn't worth the slightest mention in my blog/twitter anymore. Dad you deserve a underscore L underscore.

Tsk. Back to my personal life. Can i ask a question? How do you get to even decide whether you want to fall for someone? You can't , can you? Yea, i bet we don't have the ability to control who to fall for. Anyway that isn't my point. My personal life is kinda .. "idontknowwhattodorightnow" sorta thing? Eeerk...... Well just let anything that can grow, grow. I am not going to fucking care whoever is going to say : "ouh i think you better don't fall for him you know~" OR -"nah he's a bad choice". NEITHER -"just wait for a little while more". NOR - "you can find better ones". Seriously, fuck all these comments. If i am going to listen, i already had. I no longer feel that all these comments are able to be taken into consideration. Why the fuck are you interfering me life? Who are you anyway? You are not me. And please don't ever look down on me. Am i not deserve to be love or what? Don't use "awh i don't wna let you get hurt by him - cause he is gna reject you anyway" as an excuse, i will only feel even more depressed. And hell, thanks, save that for yourself.

And another thing ~ I am totally not comfortable with people leaning so close to me. I totally irk that. Please when you wna see something or talk to me (or do-you-call-that whispering), please please please don't come so near to my face. It's very sensitive. You want to whisper, do it to my ear. DON'T DO IT TO MY FACE?

Ok that's all. By the way, i regret going for interview and got employed. Tsk, the travelling part is really (N) boooo. Uh-uh, not nice. Alright goodbye. First day of work - i am not ready.

holding you tonight

2011-01-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

Hi i will kidnap you >:D WAHAHAHA. ok bye :b

2011-01-21T03:37:00.003+08:00

i wna sleep like her, and this sleep will last forever.

2011-01-21T03:37:00.002+08:00

i wna sleep like her, and this sleep will last forever.

Wander

2011-01-20T22:05:00.001+08:00

It's been bad recently.........................................................................................................ah just shut up

Edison

2011-01-19T03:47:00.014+08:00

I got to show you guys something ..
Yes, this is Edison Chen. I bet you all have heard of his scandals. I know he had made the biggest mistake in his life. Some of you may think that he should not be forgiven. Yes, some of you hate him to the core. Some think that he sucks. Some even hope he could disappear from the showbiz forever. You know what? I was shock too, when i read it on the papers or seen it on the news. However, from then till now, i have never once got disgusted by his mistake. Cause i know everyone make mistakes and all of us deserve to be given a second chance, or even more chances.

I just watched an Entertainment show named "Kang xi lai le". The hosts interviewed him about his past, his scandals, his views and all. I really feel that he is a changed man. I am very touched by his change and speech. I am touched because after what he have been through (betrayal of trust), he still can be strong. If i were him, i don't think i will ever made it through. It was a huge blow to him. He is a celebrity! Who the hell will ever thought that just by sending your laptop for repair will change your whole life. Those photos were meant to be kept, it's very personal. And the best part about his change is that he learned many values of life. He cherish what he had and he respect them. And this incident let him saw the true colors of some "friends" once-so-called.

I don't know how to exactly write it down here to make you feel what i felt. To make you understand what i understood, see what i saw in him. I just can't stand to see him loving his girlfriend and family that much and people still judge him as mean fucker. I hate you to be stereotype. And what makes me wna respect and admire him is that he strive for what he wants, and he is not afraid to admit his own mistakes. He corrected himself and most importantly he is responsible for his own actions.

That's the reason why i like the song "Whatcha say" so much. This line caught my attention

-Give me another chance (Another chance).

Yes, that is the line. Everyone who has not forgiven, who doesn't want to know more about him because of his scandals, just give him another chance. JUST GIVE HIM A CHANCE. I am not begging you all to do this. You just have to see and know how much he have been through and you will eventually know why he deserves another chance.

I suddenly thought of the old Northpoint. Remember the escalator right in front of Delifrance? And the escalator would lead us to the entrance of coldstorage? Hahah miss that old path. Well :)
I like Edison. Goodbye.

Cry

2011-01-19T01:11:00.003+08:00

Stitch so cute right? :D

Craving for you. I wna know moreeeeeeeeee >:S

Thoughts

2011-01-18T03:02:00.006+08:00

I actually started reading books :D Funny roight! Haha, an achievement? Haha of course!

OWNED. I read the first chapter already and it sort of teaches me how to handle my own thoughts and how my thoughts will affect me :S Seriously, i am not buying the idea the book has introduced -.- I was like "huh really? No. I am not believing it."

Hahaha, any way i shall give it a try luh! Since i have decided to finish the whole book, if i don't try how will i ever know that what is written inside it works? Rightttttttt! I should give it a shot :D Yea it's only the first chapter, maybe after i finish the whole book i'll become a better person! :D Ok if i did, i will recommend this book to all the helpless people! Haha because this book falls under "Self-Help" category in Popular bookstore.

We shall see :)

End

2011-01-18T01:11:00.002+08:00

Hi :) My private life has to end. My dreams have to end. Cause reality is where i live in.
Toodles

McLovin

2011-01-17T04:28:00.004+08:00

christopher mintz-plasse.

He is way cuter than you see. Just watch Superbad and you will know :b I like the way he talks like how his cheek muscles move :D cute!

Boredom

2011-01-17T00:43:00.000+08:00

you'll never know how i feel and nobody can understand. Not being emotional here, just saying. Yeah back to my movie, tata.

In style

2011-01-16T03:12:00.002+08:00

hello! :D Thanks everyone for the wishes &the presents! Appreciate it uh.

Well i am having mixed feelings again. >.> It's a conflict between what i should feel and how i wna feel about it. Ahhhhhh i don't know lar. Let's leave all these crap to the future :)

Happy

2011-01-15T03:11:00.020+08:00

Birthdays are meant to be happy. Wellz .. Seriously, i am not in a good mood :( Heh, sorry i told a lil white lie just nowz.

Well where to begin? I guess there isn't really a beginning of my "mixed emotion" for today. It's probably the climax of my disappointment and sadness. It all flashed through my mind after the clock strikes 12.

My life is too short to be filled with grief and sadness :)
Well if i have to start, it began last year. 2010. When it was another turning point of my life. It created a maximum damage to my soul and mental health. It can be counted as the top3 things i won't forget in my whole life. Haha hate to mention how it affected me. Nah, i shouldn't. Cause it reminds me of like unhappy stuff then make me want to cry. Nah, i don't like to make myself unhappy for no special reason.

However this incident only proves me i'm a stronger person. I admit that i was rather vulnerable at first. I really felt helpless. I didn't teared that much for someone before. It's probably the combination of people is bad. Like both was the person i concerned for the most. I never thought it would turn out this way. Woah ok let's not go into details.

And so yeaps :) bingbang - time passed- I left. I left the mess. It's killing me actually. But well at least i am fine now. I find it easier to hate the fact than to accept it. Yeah, i didn't accept it. Even up till now :O I can't believe either! How could my life be so complicated?! OMG, cause i know what is the right thing to do in order not to hurt anyone. Like how they(all the people who hurt my feelings) actually did to me :( Not wanting anyone to do anything for me, i just want you to understand why i've changed.

So yeaps.
One way or another, i make the best out of my life again. Hahaha, it didn't really turn well. So i tried again. AND FUCK, i gave up. -.- Irritating siol, to always please those who i had been pleasing. Tired of those unhappiness. TIRED OF BEING KIND. OK I AM BAD AT TIMES BUT TRUE LOR I AM BEING KIND TO A LOT OF PEOPLE ALREADY OK. And i realize some really doesn't deserve my kindness.. So i take them back. But hah! D: Actually i realize they did. They deserve, so i am giving them back now.

66
I'm never afraid to admit my mistakes and change for the better - 99

Well i am 17 now. Hate to be old but good enough to be in my teens. I don't really know how mature i have grown for the past 4years, since i entered Secondary School. I think I'm still the same old me. My perspectives are still the same, except that i have only a little faith left in humanity. I am utterly disappointed by them. However! I do believe in chances :)

When can i really be myself?
When will i learn to cherish those who gave in to me than those who don't give a shit. AH never mind. I wna quit this lesson -.- I don't wna learn this, wasting my time! Cause i can never learn. HAHAHAHA ok -.- idiot.

Wishes, yes :) Of course i must make 3wishes now!

*********************** (cannot tell you because it must come true!)
actually i am saving my first wish for something i really wna wish for. but i have not thought of it yet.
Well, i hope things go well for my darlings ok! Like Nat Meixin Vivien and not forgetting Caon :)
No more disappointment! No more heartbreaks! No more FSC (friendship crisis)

Ok :b If time can reverse back to then i will still do the same. I know i can't ever be that selfish to only think for myself! Yes, my dear, it is true that i can handle all bad stuff. Just leave all the shits to me i will definitely know how to handle them better than you! So just hear me whine :D xoxo.

How are you arh? Haha, lost contact already. Like totally! Well i hope you're fine! :D Better without me right! See :b Lame! Don't know whether will you be even reading. Send me birthday wish la! I miss you :( Haha a bit. Just know this in your heart, that you'll always have a place in my heart, though i don't ever want to mention this you'll still be there like in my mind lar :D Ok, good life ahead uh! And study hard, work hard, play hard!

Thenz Ah. Yea i finish all my emo crap :D and you never message me also -.- and yar the guys, ttm brothers! Never wish me arh! Tsk, hahaha nvm :D you! disappoint me the most lor, waliew :( Don't wna talk to you liaoz. Bye. walao -.- :@ nvm

truly seventeen.

Tumblr

2011-01-14T01:06:00.001+08:00

Birthdays

2011-01-14T00:07:00.003+08:00

Hi! n.nb (thumbs up) Okay I seriously have no idea how to celebrate my dear 17th Birthday.

Firstly :( sad i am turning 17, which means i should be mature enough to handle certain things. Ah mature.. I think i always am. I even tried to be childish to cover up the fact that i am getting old. Sad case :( i am still turning 17 two days later :@

I can't concentrate now, can i come back later? :D

Hello i am back :D Ok i have not choose my courses sia. I don't have time already! It's tomorrow! :S I am not going down to SP tomorrow with my friends. A bit leceh. Anyway i think i am choosing info tech as first choice. I don't know why i chose that too >.> Alroight. I am kind of utterly disappointed with some dickhead. Lol, like stereotype lor. Which is typical arh. Bleh who cares about you dick.

Wellz hope my birthday is going to be fun. Not :/ Ok lar i already received birthday present from my grandma :) Thanks grandma. :D Awesomez ok! :b I can't wait for CNY! I want my pork :D zzz BK. :D Yummy. &aaaah. Is life getting boring? I hope not. Cause it's like a sine graph now. Haha ok >.> bye. See you tomorrow! :V (birdface)

Relying you

2011-01-13T01:17:00.004+08:00

Cold.

2011-01-12T17:24:00.003+08:00

it's fricking cold; you don't have to add on

Where Amazin' happens

2011-01-11T22:39:00.003+08:00

Just tell me when will things are going to be fine
We are all copped up with troubles. Troubles dealing with people. Dealing with love. Dealing with our future. However i am not. Hahaha, why? I left these issues aside and i am enjoying my life now :D I deserved all these happy moments after going through those uncountable miserable days.

Existing problem : I have not decide on the course i should go :( and i have not tell my friends where i want to celebrate my birthday! :( OH NO. Take me back to those happy times. This unforgettable experience shall remain and more to come.

Draft autosaved at 11:11 PM

i am getting old manz. Cherish this moment, it might be one of the most memorable days. Cherish whatever you have. Whatever you own. Whatever is given to you.

I walked across an empty land
I knew the pathway like the back of my hand
I felt the earth beneath my feet
Sat by the river and it made me complete

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

I came across a fallen tree
I felt the branches of it looking at me
Is this the place we used to love?
Is this the place that I've been dreaming of?

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know

Oh simple thing, where have you gone?
I'm getting old and I need something to rely on
So tell me when you're gonna let me in
I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin

And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know?
This could be the end of everything
So why don't we go? So why don't we go?

Oh, this could be the end of everything
So why don't we go somewhere only we know?
Somewhere only we know
Somewhere only we know

Baby

2011-01-11T05:22:00.017+08:00

Smile like you never did!

Hi. I am quite tired now. Time check : 5.23 AM. Mood check : Shag.

I wanted to go back to all those wonderful times when i spent with my friends. Yes, i had my chance. I never regret meeting any of them. I hope they'll be good for the rest of their lives. And of course i will definitely be willing to help if they are in need and most importantly i want to be part of their daily lives :) Which is not going to happen to all of them! I only have 24hrs a day and i need to at least spare some time for myself and other friends. Haha i should be more practical. I am contented, now. I have three world and all are filled with wonderful people : Public, private and secret :>

I have am worrying about something now :( which is my birthday's celebration. I seriously have no idea where i want to go :/ and i got a bad feeling about this coming Saturday. Oh well never mind, shall think of it later in the noon!

Haha, ok this has been on my mind for quite awhile - dang i don't think i can forget this and treat you well. Ah sorry for not being generous this time. Cause it never happen before and never will again. You'd be the first and last to be hurting me in this situation. Blehblahbore , i don't want to talk about it :) #friend.

Zek ok la heck care :D I love indians. Umm malays and not chinese! Heeeeeeheee! HAHAHAHAD!

It feels like i've met him for years, loved him for decades. We're so close, yet so far. He could literally hug me in the busy streets every morning when we alight at the same bus stop. I would if i could. We're just strangers. I know nothing about him and i have this strong feelings towards him. The feeling is beyond imagination and description. I held my breath every time he stand close. I have been avoiding catching his attention, because i only want to admire him from this distance.

falling in love with strangers? I can always write my stories the way i wanted. Dear dare to deam big.

Sad enough

2011-01-10T01:35:00.012+08:00

Say goodbye my friends

We are all leaving. Going on our separate ways. We might not ever meet again. Walking past one another like we never knew. I know avoid will be the only way we'd want to react. Some will have urge to meet up again and some would rather care secretly, finding news from others trying not to let them know they actually still care. Some will be too shy to say hi. Some will hate to meet each other again.

Somehow i am going to miss us :( I know every batch will have this different bond formed between them. I am sick of being friendly to those who doesn't appreciate my cards/greetings. I had enough. So I didn't wrote any this time. And we're seriously going to be separated.

I am just going to wish you guys well here! D: I am very sorry for those mood swings and attitude in school. Well i really have low EQ :( Sorry and thank you for those who tolerated. Thank you for noticing me my friends, my enemies. ALL OF YOU CAN CALL ME AND CHAT IF YOU WANT! TEXT ME WHENEVER YOU LIKE OK! I really can't bear to leave you guys :( and i am going to miss you. I don't know how i should feel tomorrow manz. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALL THE GUIDANCE AND SHIT YOU GAVE ME. I made lots of mistakes in secondary school and I learn. I learnt that people deserves chances, and accepting our friends for who they are. Though i didn't do that quite well, cause i know i am against it for a reason :) THANK YOU FOR ACCEPTING ME IN YOUR CLIQUES. THANK YOU FOR THE REPLY. THANK YOU! WELL GOODBYE. CALL ME/TEXT ME :( KEEP IN TOUCH. FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER @LMrRoodolf we can tweet. Facebook ME :( Bye.

for those i miss, i'll find ways to keep in contact. for those whom i can't forget i will find ways to kill those thoughts of you. for those who has been there, thank you once again. for those who treated me like trash, hi and bye i will never see you again ass. for those who i can't let go, we shall meet again.

Sins or Saint

2011-01-08T21:31:00.003+08:00

I find myself a bit sick now. Fuck i've been reading gore stuff and like murder cases. I hope it won't kinda brainwash me. I deduce i am suffering from light depression. And super low self esteem. And probably split personality. I don't know ah hope i won't go mad, it will be a pity if i do.

bye

DECISIVE

2011-01-08T03:08:00.002+08:00

Should i close down my blog? I no longer feel like blogging.. I wna tumblr for now..... Should i publicize my tumblr?

Secret

2011-01-08T00:38:00.003+08:00

Psssssssssssssssst :(!

It is important on how you interact with me cause it is going to affect how i treat you in the future. And i swear every time i make a change it is for long term. Not forever, just a long period. I accumulate things remembered what i gave in to, and those i had been keeping mum about then give it all back to you at once. I know things are kinda ugly, but i can't be like this forever. The more i thought about it the more unhappy i felt. Even though it was something neutral in the past will eventually make me don't want to help. I rather be ignorant about it than to give a reaction.

Faggot i had enough. It's going to be tough for me, this is for sure. But nobody is going to bring me down >:( Asshole. Okay, all the way! And i always get demoralized by myself. Sad :<>

Nah 3

2011-01-06T21:37:00.002+08:00

P/S :
i did a personality test on facebook last year (2010) and this is all about me

You probably live in your own little world
You may feel that you are not loved

Being in your imaginary world is your way of coping with things

Others see you as:

You are a happy

Contented person
You are protective of your friends
Honest
~~Tidy?~~
You are hardworking
Like to be the person in charge

You are a frank
Sometimes flamboyant person
You are friendly
Want to be accepted by everybody
You like to have fun
To be free
To live a comfortable lifestyle
You are a person who loves simplicity
Is sincere
Open
You are pleasant to be with
Easygoing
Always in a good mood
You neither want to control nor be under someone else's control
You don't care much about how you look
Know that it's what's inside someone's heart that's important

You are absolutely unique
Are always coming up with lots of great ideas
Being happy is your most important goal

yes be happy :O

Romeo

2011-01-06T04:02:00.003+08:00

Love, R.

obsessed, wish that you can be true.

Random

2011-01-05T02:30:00.000+08:00

Anyway guys have you seen gays before? Or your friend is a gay? Though i am keen to make some gay friends but i think i am not ready to accept gay yet! >< Aw! Anything let me know, xoxo.

I've seen love die way too many times ..

2011-01-04T23:56:00.007+08:00

Hey guys! :D If you could change one thing about your world what could it be? :/ Hmmmm, though i am not satisfied with my life but it could be worse right? So i have to be contented :D Yeaps. Anyway i am feeling damn tired now, nono i am always feeling tired when i am at home. There's practically nothing for me to do leh -.- and i am not a fan of Teevee. Lolssss. The worse part of my life is that i am receiving more FB notifications than SMSes! LOL, take a good look at our world.. it's becoming more .. so - public. Like no more private life :O

Ah who cares. I keep forgetting what i want to blog about :S Tell me what do you wna change about your life ok? :D I wna know..... i wanted to see whether is there another being feeling the same as me! :D Like whether they want to change anything about themselves or the people a round them :D

And YOU ALL SMS ME LAR >:(
hahaha, ok bbye.

901 - HOW TO COPE WITH YOUR EMOTIONS.

2011-01-03T23:37:00.016+08:00

:) lol nonsensically blogged for almost a thousand entries already. So far so good heeeheee. I FEEL PEOPLE LOR. Haha i often put myself into shoes of others who are unfortunate, hence you will see me cursing those blessed people. Curse them to hell. When they fall, aw i put myself in their shoes and feel bad about myself then they feel good and the cycle repeats! Haha anyway i feel great now :) Maybe being selfish and like what Fay said in her post :

1. "Fandom is all about having fun, spazzing, drooling and not letting it take over your life. It's suppose to act as an escape to your real life."

Fandom will make us happy! :D

walao fucking true. Hmm dear emo people :D hahaha, do you know why you are being emo? Cause you keep compressing yourself, GOT THOSE NEGATIVE NEGATIVE THOUGHTS AND INSULTS FROM OTHERS, YOU FEEL BAD ABOUT YOURSELF and you try not to show those fucking emotions in you. Emo people have mood swing and it happens like every 30mins. And know what? They didn't want sympathy they just want to be quiet, calm down for awhile or even want to cry at times. Relax outsiders, this is just a way to vent their emotions that they have kept for too long! :D Don't worry emo-ers i know it all. I understand your feelings very well :D I have a few ways to keep your life going! :D

When your life is dull you'll attract dust! :D When your life is colourful it attracts RAINBOW!

Step 1.) STOP AND BREATHE.

Just think that emo is lame. For children. When those unhappy thoughts keep coming into your mind you'll just have to say "LAME LAME LAME" to yourself. Like flood yourself with intentions and your sub-conscious will stop flooding you with those unhappy thoughts! Ugh >:(

Step 2.) SPAM YOURSELF WITH SMILES AND FUNNY VIDEOS AND BEING HYPER ACTIVE WORKS!

Just be hyped up all the time :D The way to start is to watch something funny! ZOMFG :D It will definitely be a blast >:D Try to talk to people (not about why are you being sad! something else other than the matter) If you want, talk to as many people as possible! :D BEST : Know new friends! :D It bring colours to your life! :D (tho it might be black color at times -.-) Conversation creates wonderful interactions to make you feel "alive" for awhile :D Watch those touching Love stories helps too! :D Cause the stories will eventually end with happy endings :D And you will be happy for them! :D I ALWAYS get inspirations from MOVIES!

step 3.) MUSIC. DUH?

STOP ALL THAT "LOVE THE WAY YOU LIE" OR THAT "TONIGHT" OR THAT STUPID " FALL FOR YOU" LOLS. LISTEN TO B.o.B's songs! :D BRUNO MARS!? JUST THE WAY YOU ARE! OR ME LOVE? WHY NOT "BLACK AND YELLOW" ? HAHAHAHA JUST LISTEN TO SOMETHING LIVELY AND DOES NOT REMINDS YOU OF ANYTHING/ANYONE :D JUST PURE MUSIC ALRIGHT!

yeaps and stop thinking really :o ...................... the more you think the more depressed you are. Read books. It works :) talk to your siblings even better ^^. Scold your siblings if you want :X hahahaha! Look at cute stuff :b I dont suggest pets for you guys cause hahaha i know when it comes to anger .. I CAN KILL >:D LMAO. THINK ABOUT YOUR LIFE. SUCCESS. WHAT YOU WNA BE! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

ALRIGHT THAT'S ALL LOVES :)

It's pyschology

2011-01-03T22:51:00.002+08:00

frankly speaking I am here to make a confession, fuck you all! fuck you dudes. fuck you babes! i am trying very hard and seriously i got nothing in return. fuck you life. fuck you very very much. hahaha yes being vulgar is fun here. maybe that's the way to become stronger. act tough so that no one can bully you! roar!

and i can't blog like blogger anymore :/ i wna blog like how tumblr did

that's the reason i hate miley. ewwww

I feel Eminem

2011-01-03T00:05:00.005+08:00

if you link all the lyrics together it pieced Eminem.

It was about him, his life, his wife. I feel him, do you? His voice is penetrate through my souls. Every word he raps, every note he sing, hit the right spot where it hurts the most.

I can't tell you what it really is. I can only tell you what it feels like. And right now, it's a steel knife in my windpipe. I can't breathe, but I still fight while I can fight. As long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight. High off her love, drunk from my hate, it's like I'm huffin' paint. And I love it, the more I suffer, I suffocate. And right before I'm about to drown, she resuscitates me, She fuckin' hates me, and I love it. "Wait, where you goin'?" "I'm leavin' you!" "No you ain't! Come back!" We're runnin' right back, here we go again! It's so insane, cause when it's goin' good, it's goin' great. I'm Superman with the wind at his back, she's Lois Lane. But when it's bad it's awful, I feel so ashamed. I snap, "Who's that dude? I don't even know his name." I laid hands on her, I'll never stoop so low again. I guess I don't know my own strength.

You ever love somebody so much, you can barely breathe. When you with 'em you meet, and neither one of you even know what hit 'em. Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills used to get 'em. Now you're getting fuckin' sick of lookin' at 'em. You swore you'd never hit 'em, never do nothin' to hurt 'em. Now you're in each other's face, spewin' venom in your words when you spit 'em. You push pull each other's hair, scratch claw, Hit 'em, throw 'em down, pin 'em, so lost in the moments when you're in 'em. It's the rage that's the culprit, controls you both. So they say it's best to go your separate ways. Guess that they don't know ya, 'cause today, that was yesterday.
Yesterday is over, it's a different day. Sound like broken records playin' over, But you promised her, next time you'll show restraint You don't get another chance. Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again. Now you get to watch her leave out the window. Guess that's why they call it window pane.

Now I know we said things, did things, that we didn't mean. And we fall back into the same patterns, same routine. But your temper's just as bad as mine is, you're the same as me. When it comes to love you're just as blinded. Baby please come back! It wasn't you, baby, it was me! Maybe our relationship isn't as crazy as it seems. Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano. All I know is I love you too much, to walk away though. Come inside, pick up the bags off the sidewalk! Don't you hear sincerity in my voice when I talk? Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball! Next time I'm pissed I'll aim my fist at the dry wall! Next time? There won't be no next time! I apologize, even though I know it's lies! I'm tired of the games! I just want her back! I know I'm a liar! If she ever tries to fuckin' leave again, I'ma tie her to the bed and set this house on fire!

BORED

2011-01-02T22:30:00.001+08:00

BORED

2011-01-02T22:30:00.000+08:00

Hedly

2011-01-02T21:09:00.003+08:00

I won't fall , even if you said i was wrong

In some point of time in the future, you'll eventually be able to find words to fill that emotion you were once unable to describe.

B

2011-01-01T23:26:00.002+08:00

i so wna be ........................

Brand new year

2011-01-01T02:59:00.006+08:00

congrats all, this is what we have been waiting for. the truth is we're not waiting for the new year, we're all waiting for the date for us to start afresh. And this very day is non other than 1 January. When we mark the beginning of everything. Because that is when all the dates got reset.

I guess some things i have to really just forget about it. As in for those whom i cared just didn't care at all... AH :) Never mind I totally understand it's quite easy to prioritize anyone above me, so uh huh, i understand. Cause I take these people too seriously :b So it's my fault for treating almost all of you so importantly. Too many of you already. I know i didn't show it but yes you are :D You are something i will be happy to see, happy to share, happy to laugh with :) Excellent. Ok lar miss all the fun laaaar that's why :/ But never mind shhhhhhhhh better not know who these important people are.

For those whom i just couldn't mend... AH. Sigh, there's this thing make me want to stay away. I don't wish to have somebody to be by me like i am a baby. And i do not wish to see someone who reminds me of the unforgettable memories. I just got to get move on with my life, i don't want to leave this scar behind to remind me of the past. It is too hurtful for my soul. Of course, i miss the days. I'm not cold blooded. Well, for the next few years my dears, please take care. You are able to cause such damages to me means that you really meant something to me. Love you once, love you always. For now my love still remains, though i'll only be loving from a distant. Won't directly show it anymore. Cause i am unable to. Alright, :D if you feel for this part of the post, you are the on i am talking about. There are most likely 3 yous.

I just can't turn back time.

I have not failed unless i have given myself up.

Sweet escape

2010-12-31T01:44:00.006+08:00

don't let any cute thing pass you by again :b Not going to miss anything awesome!

It's 2.24 hrs passed 30th. It's 31st for 2hrs plus! Zomfg i bet i won't be able to blog tomorrow therefore i am here tonight :D .. Bosco damn cute right? He meltz me! Haha. Ok la he really damn cute :b

Ummmmmmm idk i read all my 2010 archives and seriously i didn't realize my blog was hinting so obvious :/ BUT HAHAHAHA who cares? It was all crap. I don't mean any of my words now! Hmmm, looking back i did have a wonderful time in school ..... When all those hard feelings fade away we see things at a much clearer view :b I hate 2010 seriously. It was more than just a roller coaster ride! Should i be thankful or mad at what happened this year? At least i get to see the real world. It is harsh! OMG Wna hide in my own lala land luh! Well hope this faith won't die so soon, cause i am only able to revive it till this stage.... Which is still very fragile, it is still very vulnerable. It might vanish anytime :( Booohuuuu ~ Alright! Keep going! Nothing is going to stop me anyway :D

DON'T WORRY BE HAPPY. And i told you, time flies~

Wishes for new year .......

2010-12-30T15:01:00.001+08:00

Roarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.... :b

This love has taken it's toll on me

2010-12-30T00:58:00.006+08:00

this is a lil shout out to everybody reading this :

I AM HAPPY NOW AND I DON'T KNOW WHY! :D

probably i don't need a reason to be happy :)

R ANDOM

2010-12-30T00:26:00.003+08:00

:b I feel so happy today

why? I just can't explain :p "this love has taken it's toll on me ♥" :D Hahahahaha yea i don't know why am i feeling so crappy :b YAY :D Maybe this happy feeling will only last for awhile but it's ok! I feel so fine now :DDD I AM REALLY ELATED

WELLZ. I HAVE NOTHING TO BLOG ABOUT :( I AM A BORING PERSON! OKAY HOW ABOUT (i should stop all the caps thing cause i know it will be kinda irritating if you are reading this entry :b) so ..... yeaps - How about i blog about my day to Novena? :D Went to United Square! I was craving for Mac yknow! Like c.r.a.v.e :/ So, i insisted on having McDonalds and yes i did :D ♥ :D Heeeeeeeeeee had the chicken sandwich! Yumyum but the sauce eeeek! :/ And i finally know where to get my frisbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee :D The same one as our school is using ten dollars only know! :D

I spent like 15dollars on Gacha Pon to get an iPhone 4 :( dang i didn't get it..... then the shop keeper gave me a keychain instead :D ♥ Love many many! :b yay new toy! :D Then went market with mom :D BOUGHT MY APPLE JUICE WITH ALOE VERA! :D Okie that's all for today. Gna be a happy tumblr day :D

I was so high I did not recognize

The fire burning in her eyes

The chaos that controlled my mind

Whispered goodbye and she got on a plane

Never to return again

But always in my heart

This love has taken it’s toll on me

She said goodbye too many times before

And her heart is breaking in front of me

I have no choice cause I won’t say goodbye anymore

I tried my best to feed her appetite

Keep her coming every night

So hard to keep her satisfied

Kept playing love like it was just a game

Pretending to feel the same

Then turn around and leave again

This love has taken it’s toll on me

She said goodbye too many times before

And her heart is breaking in front of me

I have no choice cause I won’t say goodbye anymore

I’ll fix these broken things

Repair your broken wings

And make sure everything’s alright

My pressure on her hips

Sinking my fingertips

Into every inch of you

Cause I know that’s what you want me to do

Bread

2010-12-29T02:37:00.001+08:00

I mean bored :(

Angels

2010-12-29T00:12:00.002+08:00

credits : www.tinydolls.tumblr.com

Please tell me that i will be fine, i seriously don't think so.

S He will be loved

2010-12-28T22:00:00.005+08:00

I don't have to own everything i love. I've learnt that i can't give everything he needs.

Beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some trouble with herself
He was always there to help her, she always belonged to someone else

I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door
I've had you so many times but somehow I want more

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved
And she will be loved

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful
I know I tend to get so insecure
It doesn't matter anymore

It's not always rainbows and butterflies
It's compromise that moves us along, yeah
My heart is full and my door's always open
You come anytime you want

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved

I know where you hide alone in your car
Know all of the things that make you who you are
I know that goodbye means nothing at all
Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls, yeah

Tap on my window knock on my door
I want to make you feel beautiful

I don't mind spending every day
Out on your corner in the pouring rain
Look for the girl with the broken smile
Ask her if she wants to stay awhile

And she will be loved
And she will be loved
And she will be loved
(Please don't try so hard to say goodbye)
And she will be loved

Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye
(I don't mind spending every day)
(Out on your corner in the pouring rain)
Please don't try so hard to say goodbye

L for love.

2010-12-28T01:34:00.004+08:00

admit that you love yourself more.

:( going through something different and i don't know what is the right thing to do. Don't know how long will i keep this to myself, this is bad. The idea that i introduced to myself has gone way too deep in me. It is convincing me to give up everything i have now. In fact i have nothing. Cause every time i try my very best to give what i have and what i get in return is nothing. Like anyone even cares about my thoughts and feelings. Fuck the whole universe.

I am really unable to compromise to this person anymore. It's tough. I can't even speak. I am so mad about it. Why not just let me leave this place. It sucks. It is terrible. If tomorrow I didn't go for any interviews, i will not work for the rest of my holidays. And i need to distant myself. No matter what i do is always wrong, let me just fuck off.

Goodbye

2010-12-26T23:03:00.003+08:00

there won't be a new beginning if you don't say goodbye.

oh no, time is passing faster than i can imagine. let's say byebye to 2010 :( Sadly i am turning 17 in 3weeks time. Ouch, old already ah. Have not gotten what i wanted yet :( this sucks. And i can't get it because of me! faggot.

something is bothering me. tsk, must be myself again. Sigh , bye.

A no D.

2010-12-26T02:17:00.005+08:00

I realize the last time i blog is 25. Which is yesterday night, and the previous post is 22nd! ZOMFG. I only posted after 3days! I bet i must be damn tired to even switch on my comp!

I've nothing to update sia :/ I need money! Send me money leh :D hahaha joking! :D Yea i am going to bed. Hope i will get over my low self esteem soon! :D ...................... :(

i lazy edit ah, dont understand nvm ah -.- cause i also dont know what i am blabbering on my blog. I am effing tired...................... ciaos.

In the way

2010-12-25T03:48:00.001+08:00

actually it kills me a whole lot than a little

Dawn

2010-12-22T06:20:00.003+08:00

As much as i hate dawn, i hate to make decisions.

Hmm, how exactly to decide on something? What should you take into consideration and what not to? I am caught in a dilemma. Something is bothering me. Bugging me like a disease which has no cure. Dang, nothing seems to be right. Hmm, or probably i should look at it at a more optimistic view? Things wouldn't be complicated eh? I just feel bored. Like routines kinda thing. I don't like it. I like now. Out at night. Some people no longer can give me the sense of belonging i need. I am pretty much disappointed. They can't let me feel like i am part of them. I am so out of place. Cause what i am allowed to do is kinda like, i don't know. They can do it but i can't. So bias. Like why am i the one to sacrifise. Why are we all together yet have many different thoughts and things to achieve. Are we all suffering together or just me. Why have to abide so many rules to just be in good terms? Aren't we all forced to do this? Can somebody explain why am i feeling this?

Gosh. And then, i really don't feel like working anymore. It's god damn tiring. However i know my workplace needed us, cause they needed people to help them on the eves and the public holiday itself. But damn, if i am really quitting sooner or later, i wouldn't want to go back this thursday then feel unhappy at work, come back home feel guilty about the fact that i am leaving. LOL. Ugh? Should really blog out the details at my tumblr. I feel better if i say it out somewhere.

Oh my, i need a haircut. I am troubled by 2things now, and one of them is ultimate important. Should i just give up on this? I have this minimal faith of going through all this together, I am not in my best condition, i don't have confident to say and promise that i won't choose to run away this time.

If one day i lose all my kins, friends and love, what would happen to me?

deleted and kept in my safe

2010-12-21T05:29:00.003+08:00

some things are meant to keep. temporary forgotten.

I guess i just can't get things off my chest. cause i only think for myself. great. my thoughts are damn selfish isn't it? i dont know what is the right word the right thing. ahhhh i don't know and i am tired. i am not going to be bothered about this, but i know you can't adapt to the change yet? i don't know. everything before now or even now i don't wish to ever remember. cause my timeline are messed up and people keep creating unwanted sad memories for me. it's enough. please, just want to enjoy every piece of wonderful bond between people. don't link back. don't remind me. shhhhhhhhhh , peaceful mind.

i shall go to bed. going to survive through a tough week. no celebration for christmas :(

i love sting

2010-12-21T03:08:00.004+08:00

DAMN TRUE.

Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
Watch your words, for they become actions.
Watch your actions, for they become habits.
Watch your habits, for they become character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.

A matter of language

2010-12-20T21:22:00.000+08:00

Want face. (Read it in Chinese and English it makes a big diff.)

2010-12-20T03:02:00.009+08:00

I do regret.

Something new came across my mind this evening. When I was staring at the road, thinking and wondering, I realize I do regret at times. I said it before, i won't regret about any decision i made cause i lived for the moment. I followed my heart. However, now i am regretting not doing what i can do when i had the chance to. I avoided my own feelings, and thoughts and i just dont wish to admit. I thought there would always be another time to confess my feelings or just to tell him that i love him. But it's kinda late already. Because i don't love him anymore. I wanted him to know that I did love him. But I don't anymore, so i can't possibly go tell him things that isn't valid anymore? It will create mess and confuse people :/ So yea regret not to tell the right thing at the right time. Never mind let it pass. I don't like to hang on to things that doesn't affect me.

Tsk, I insist to blog tho i am fugging tired :/ Alright finally said my piece of shit to this lil bloggie. Well i should go to bed, also known as "rest in peace" to me :)

I will smile today because of you. Love your fierce look >:D

萧亚轩 - 最熟悉的陌生人

2010-12-19T01:56:00.000+08:00

Dear blog.

2010-12-19T01:52:00.002+08:00

TUMBLR is more active than BLOGGER now. Uhmm how? :/ I am definitely not leaving this blog :D Buttttttt i just don't know what to update here..... :d how? ALAMAK I WILL UPDATE MORE OK! BTW TOMORROW NOON SHIFT. GOT TO SLEEP NOW :( LIFE'S A BITCH. MY JOB IS A BITCH. MY BED IS A BITCH AND I LOVE MY BITCH :p. Where's the bitch ?

Quote.

2010-12-19T01:46:00.004+08:00

You're the only thing that make sense. - Oh well just shut up -

Thing aren't going well for me, dang I am going to face it! I won't give in. Fuck you, whoever's up there (not literally) I am living in your game, reward me 2000 dollars please! Cause i feel that i've already completed my round!